ALTHOUGH I STILL LOVE BLACK MEN???

I decided to re-post the original post that sparked the commentary from Ms. Melee below (The I’ll never date another Black Man Again woman).

As a black woman, this blog is downright painful to read. The fact is this: black women are getting AIDS from SOMEONE. It isn’t airborne, you can’t catch it from toilet seats or shaking hands. I think it’s safe to say that black women are contracting AIDS from BLACK MEN. I watched with fascination the AIDS in Black America special that aired on ABC in the early part of the summer. A sista who was heading a round table discussion said, “Black women…when we love, we love HARD…and often to our own detriment and destruction…we have to love OURSELVES, first and foremost, before we love a man. And part of that self love is to NEVER sleep with a black man, or any man of any ethnicity, without ensuring that he is wearing a condom…and understand that, if he refuses, he does not care about himself and his own health/life…let alone your health/life

Although I still love Black men, I must confess…I am terrified of you all. The HIV/AIDS issue has me terrified. In addition, it seems everytime I meet a black man and try to have a healthy, loving friendship/relationship with one, he usually ends up with a bunch of issues I am not equipped to deal with, or it turns out that he has grossly misrepresented himself, or is just looking to use me financially. Seems every Black man is looking for an “independent woman” or a woman to “help them out” financially…even in the union of marriage. My father told me when I was a girl to RUN from any man who proposes marriage to me, with the idea that my salary will “supplement” our income. He told me if a man cannot a woman, and eventually a family, on his salary, then he is not a good husband material. I am at a point where, although I still admire black men from afar (as far as physical looks are concerned, black men are at the top of the list) I avoid black men. I don’t talk to them anymore, don’t make eye contact anymore, even when they approach me, because I know they don’t have good intentions towards me; I rebuff their advances, but nicely…not trying to get cursed out or beat up. They’re looking for a stupid, desperate sista who who wants a black man SO BADLY, that she will supply them with sex on demand, and are trying to nest in HER home, and drive HER car, in lieu of finding his own home, and buying his own car. Black men, although beautiful to look at, are beyond emotionally scarred…they are so full of self hate and loathing, and so full of hate and loathing for the black woman, and so lacking in personal intregity, that they will forever be incapable of being the strong, loving, caring, respectful, trustworthy men black women so desperately need to love and care for them. But I love and care for ME. And the only way I can ensure my physical and emotional well being remain intact, is to not deal with black men, on any level. I’m so sorry it has come to this, but honestly…when I think of the future of black men, if it is anything like the present…they are truly doomed.

Is it just me or is this just about the saddest contradictory espousal of self ostracizing fear you have ever heard? Although I still love black men, then the whole tirade that we are self-hating, untrustworthy, and irresponsible is based on what selection criteria for black men? My old adage, “If you keep picking fruit from the same tree, don’t expect apples when it’s an orange tree. It might be ripe, it might be bitter, it might be sweet, it might be spoiled, but in the end, they’re all oranges” I think my first book will be entitled, “Change your tree!”And to the premise all black women are getting AIDS from black men, again from the data (CDC) 37% of the women contracted this disease from IV drug use (ALONE). Let me guess, these women were all tied up by black men and injected with the virus? (she paints such an eloquent picture of these no good low down (or should I use down low) cheating, no bill pay, car having, self esteem having ass black men!) Another booming stat from the CDC this week, AIDS diagnosises among African American women is actually down 6% over the past 4 years. How come you haven’t heard about this in the press? Dr. David J. Malebranche releases a meta-analysis refuting the “DL” theory entirely, and you think the local news would run at least an op-ed piece? Why don’t you hear about this? Because there are people and principalities, who have a vested interest and are compensated to misinform you so that they may mismanage you. Sounds to me like they just got another customer, subscription for life.The choices we make pave the road to the destination of our future...