December 19, 2007 Leave a comment Go to comments

I decided to re-post the original post that sparked the commentary from Ms. Melee below (The I’ll never date another Black Man Again woman).

As a black woman, this blog is downright painful to read. The fact is this: black women are getting AIDS from SOMEONE. It isn’t airborne, you can’t catch it from toilet seats or shaking hands. I think it’s safe to say that black women are contracting AIDS from BLACK MEN. I watched with fascination the AIDS in Black America special that aired on ABC in the early part of the summer. A sista who was heading a round table discussion said, “Black women…when we love, we love HARD…and often to our own detriment and destruction…we have to love OURSELVES, first and foremost, before we love a man. And part of that self love is to NEVER sleep with a black man, or any man of any ethnicity, without ensuring that he is wearing a condom…and understand that, if he refuses, he does not care about himself and his own health/life…let alone your health/life

Although I still love Black men, I must confess…I am terrified of you all. The HIV/AIDS issue has me terrified. In addition, it seems everytime I meet a black man and try to have a healthy, loving friendship/relationship with one, he usually ends up with a bunch of issues I am not equipped to deal with, or it turns out that he has grossly misrepresented himself, or is just looking to use me financially. Seems every Black man is looking for an “independent woman” or a woman to “help them out” financially…even in the union of marriage. My father told me when I was a girl to RUN from any man who proposes marriage to me, with the idea that my salary will “supplement” our income. He told me if a man cannot a woman, and eventually a family, on his salary, then he is not a good husband material. I am at a point where, although I still admire black men from afar (as far as physical looks are concerned, black men are at the top of the list) I avoid black men. I don’t talk to them anymore, don’t make eye contact anymore, even when they approach me, because I know they don’t have good intentions towards me; I rebuff their advances, but nicely…not trying to get cursed out or beat up. They’re looking for a stupid, desperate sista who who wants a black man SO BADLY, that she will supply them with sex on demand, and are trying to nest in HER home, and drive HER car, in lieu of finding his own home, and buying his own car. Black men, although beautiful to look at, are beyond emotionally scarred…they are so full of self hate and loathing, and so full of hate and loathing for the black woman, and so lacking in personal intregity, that they will forever be incapable of being the strong, loving, caring, respectful, trustworthy men black women so desperately need to love and care for them. But I love and care for ME. And the only way I can ensure my physical and emotional well being remain intact, is to not deal with black men, on any level. I’m so sorry it has come to this, but honestly…when I think of the future of black men, if it is anything like the present…they are truly doomed.

Is it just me or is this just about the saddest contradictory espousal of self ostracizing fear you have ever heard? Although I still love black men, then the whole tirade that we are self-hating, untrustworthy, and irresponsible is based on what selection criteria for black men? My old adage, “If you keep picking fruit from the same tree, don’t expect apples when it’s an orange tree. It might be ripe, it might be bitter, it might be sweet, it might be spoiled, but in the end, they’re all oranges” I think my first book will be entitled, “Change your tree!”And to the premise all black women are getting AIDS from black men, again from the data (CDC) 37% of the women contracted this disease from IV drug use (ALONE). Let me guess, these women were all tied up by black men and injected with the virus? (she paints such an eloquent picture of these no good low down (or should I use down low) cheating, no bill pay, car having, self esteem having ass black men!) Another booming stat from the CDC this week, AIDS diagnosises among African American women is actually down 6% over the past 4 years. How come you haven’t heard about this in the press? Dr. David J. Malebranche releases a meta-analysis refuting the “DL” theory entirely, and you think the local news would run at least an op-ed piece? Why don’t you hear about this? Because there are people and principalities, who have a vested interest and are compensated to misinform you so that they may mismanage you. Sounds to me like they just got another customer, subscription for life.The choices we make pave the road to the destination of our future...

  1. December 20, 2007 at 6:32 pm

    That was just pathetic.
    Whats even more sorry is there is an army of black women running around the internet with that attitude.
    You take away the skin color and your swear you were listening to some white supremist propaganda.

    We have become the boogie man all of a sudden.

    Black men giving woman HIV?

    And were do you suppose these men are getting it from?

    That is a great post!

  2. Lesli
    January 2, 2009 at 6:01 pm

    What is pathetic is a black woman’s attempts to get a brother to love her when clearly he is not capable, willing, nor able to give the love that she so desperately wants. What’s sad is that he is so aware of a woman’s desire to be with him and a black man with exploit those emotions to this benefit. I have ran across too many brothers with this attitude and it sickens me to the point that I can’t deal with it anymore. This entitlement atttitude that black men display. While you are down on your luck, incarcerated, in school whatever….black women are EXPECTED to take care of their man and hold him up. But as soon as you all get on your feet you are too good to date us.

    Forget the economy. What about the devalue of the black woman.

  3. CC
    May 9, 2009 at 5:59 pm

    I find it somewhat funny and simultaneously sad to see articles like this that hold much truth and weight and then have a negative comment by whom else….da.. da..da—dahh…A BLACK MAN!!! Since when did it become the (youthful black) social norm for black men to exploit and degrade black women so terribly that other races go from hate to feeling sorry for us. When are these men going to take responsibility? I am an educated black woman who came from a two-parent home and have dated black men for many years (most of which turned out negatively. I am financially successful, am not married and have no children. recently I met a Latin man whom I’ve noticed in less than a month treats me better than ANY black man I’ve ever been with and am hooked. I still love black men but personally will never date one again. Tragically, these particular black men aren’t alone (many black women are at fault as well. Someone once told me that unlike a lot a lot of black women, I know my worth and don’t seek it from a man. A blessing and a curse I guess. At that moment, I decided it wasn’t so bad to date outside me race. I’m happy now with my Puerto Rican and will likely NEVER go back to black.

  4. Anonymous
    April 18, 2012 at 10:03 pm

    im tried of black they are fool of shit. you guys talk bad about black women like its all us let me tell your something. 1}you guys dont know how to approach a woman its like pisss yo yo piss let me talk to you,and when you do talk 2 to u guys 2mintues into the convresation u are talking about sex. 2)u looking for someone to take care of your that why u go to white girls u guys say they take care of your but what about takeing care of each other 3)u say black women dont do blow jobs what about your if u dont go down town then i dont its goes both ways. 4)u guys dont like weaves because its fake ,white girls hair are real (not) they wear them to .with they fake tans fake ass fake lips and breast but your dont see that shit u see what u want to see 5)alot of your on the down low sleeping with men and u suppose to be straight 6)alot of your cheat that why u dont want a women to nag u where your going your full of shit and u make sick 7}cheap always want sex but dont want to pay for a date 8] it dont bother me all that much about some black wanting a white girl you claim u want one so bad but most time u treat them like shit use,abuse, and then try to lose them{ black men are worthless your only good for one thing and thats sex then again not those white know how fuck, suck lick and stick learn something

  5. chris
    May 17, 2013 at 12:10 am

    wow. well I don’t care what black women think anymore. im going to live my life as a real man, if she wants me then fine…if not ill move on. a “black man” may not be in high demand in this socially stratified nation, but a Real man is. and a real man can be black white or blue. I love black women, I really do. and yet I see this on the internet, its really messed up to kno this is how some feel. well ok, I like mexican women to ill just have to settle.

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