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WHAT ABOUT ME

PLEASE STAY IN SCHOOL, AS LONG AS YOU CAN, AND I AIN’T TALKING BOUT HIGH SCHOOL

Black Men Falling Behind

LETTER:

Where have all the positive brothers gone? Nowhere. I’m right here. Sisters choose to ignore me. They pass over me as they rush to be in the embrace of the playa. Sisters ignore me while they sit at home worrying about the so-called man who has constantly lied to them. While the sisters are feeling anguish and pain over the bad brothers they refuse to acknowledge me. Who am I? I am the positive brother.

I am the brother who not only raises his children but also raises another man’s children. I am the brother who works two jobs to provide for himself and his loved ones. I am the brother who is standing like a rock beside his woman or in many cases in front of his woman to protect her from the hostile forces of this world. I am the brother who treats his woman with respect and honor. I am the brother who will massage his woman’s shoulders and feet. I am the brother who will cook for his woman when she is tired. I am the brother who will fix things around her house without being asked. I am all of these men. So how come I’m not with you? Lord knows I tried.

I’ve sent you flowers. I’ve taken you and your children by another man out on dates. I’ve respected you at all times. I have never called you out of your name. Despite this, you act like you don’t want me. You tell me that I am not a challenge. You only see me as a friend. You want the man who doesn’t call you. You want the man who calls you names. You want the man who doesn’t pay child support or attempt to spend time with his children. You want the man who doesn’t want to work. The man who sits on your couch, who drives your car, who spends your money, and this same man will not even cook dinner for you. You value the bad boy more than the positive brother and then you wonder why the positive brother doesn’t want to be a part of your life. You want to know why? You don’t show the positive brother any love.

All the positive brother sees are sisters who complain about the lack of men in their lives. A sister will stand right in front of a brother who has two jobs, never been in trouble, helps out in the community, and tell this brother, to his face, that there are no good black men. The brother, having heard this for the thousandth time can only respond, “What about me?”

Do sisters wonder how much pain they cause when they do not acknowledge a positive brother? Do sisters wonder how much pain they cause when they choose a knucklehead over a positive brother? Do sisters realize how much pain a positive brother feels when he reads articles in national magazines asking where is he? Do sisters know how much pain they cause when appreciation is not shown for the positive brothers who are not celebrities? DO SISTERS CARE IF WE’RE HURTING BECAUSE FOR ALL WE DO WE DON’T FEEL LOVED!?!

Positive brothers want some type of appreciation. That man who hauls garbage to make sure his wife and children are provided for wants to be appreciated. That man who struggled through college and law school to give back to the community wants to be appreciated. The man who lives at home to take care of his sick mother wants to be appreciated. The brother who raises another man’s children wants to be appreciated. The man who raises his own children alone wants to be appreciated. Is appreciation for our positive efforts too much to ask?

Positive brothers are only human. We laugh and we cry. We feel anger and pain. We make mistakes. Despite any flaws we try to do our best. Sometimes though, that doesn’t seem enough for the sisters. We don’t feel appreciated by the women that mean the most to us. Is it any wonder why we are withdrawing from your lives?

Sent to me annonymously: Author please contact me for credits

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